Saturday, December 17, 2011

Evidently I've been very busy.  I've been asked why I haven't blogged in so long.  I don't know what happened to make me busier than usual, other than the 10 days after Thanksgiving I was working overtime, and I got sick with the flu, and then of course there is this Christmas thing.  And we do a pretty minimalist-Christmas.  Example: this is our tree and our mini-stockings.

I do not know what to think about how much time I will need when the babies are old enough to appreciate Christmas and we do it "for real".

We were getting close to justifying hiring additional domestic help when Mike changed jobs again.  His new job is closer to home and on a regular day shift like regular people, so we're happy about that, but now our checkbook doesn't likely allow for any more help. On the other hand, since Mike is going to be on a regular day shift like regular people, I might not actually need the help anymore.

I have absolutely no apologies about saying that I feel I need a nanny, housekeeper, and cook in my home.  I have spoken to several other mothers who feel the same.  In fact one of them actually has a nanny and a cook.  I didn't ask about housekeeper but I'm guessing if she can afford nanny and cook she probably has a regular housekeeper as well.  These are all mothers in my same age group, who remember a decade or so ago when we kept being told we were superwomen who could have it all (career, parenthood, home).  Now no one says that anymore.  One of my friends had her babies during that time.  She looks back now and admits that by buying into the propaganda she made things a lot harder on herself than they had to be. 

I feel like my past deeds already prove that I am superwoman.  I don't need to continue to prove anything to anyone, myself included.  I feel that insisting on doing everything myself is simply being a martyr, like one of those people who refuses painkillers when offered, which I guess they think impresses people but really only serves to hurt themselves.

Well, except for one girl I knew who refused painkillers because she was worried about becoming addicted, and I guess she had good reason for this worry.  She had been in a terrible car accident and was dealing with long term effects afterward.  She told me her totem panther helped her through the pain.  The panther had visited her and adopted her after the accident.  I don't recall if this was in a dream or if she thinks she really saw this.  At any rate I was pretty sure she wasn't just being a martyr about the whole thing.  I thought she was crazy, but she still impressed me.

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