Thoughts about conference resorts

Sometimes when I travel for work, they put me in a nice hotel. I mean Nice. But, more than a few times, I'm attending a conference in a "conference resort" that is under construction. This has happened often enough that it's obvious that these places have cheap rates. The problems with these places are that they open their doors when they have a building with hotel rooms and conference rooms, but that's it. There's no other amenities to amuse you, like a spa or something like that. And conference resorts are typically in the middle of nowhere, or at least, they are not walking distance from town.

Here are a couple of things that almost always go wrong in a conference room.
1) The hotel always, always, always puts little bowls of cellophane-wrapped candy on the tables. This is the dumbest thing to be in a conference room because it's the loudest candy to unwrap. They need to put out paper-wrapped candy, like Starburst or Tootsie Rolls.

2) There's frequently some kind of noise pollution going on. If there's construction going on, it's not appropriate to rent out the conference room next to the pounding. It's also not appropriate to design the building so that the conference room shares a wall with the kitchen. There shouldn't be a conference room next to the freight elevator. Or the pool.