Never Was

We eat at a local restaurant occasionally, where they have this waitress who affects a wannabe southern accent. Well, it's more like a wannabe southern persona, where in addition to the fake accent she also attempts to exude a southern hospitality AND a sort of mountain-person dingy innocence (I once saw her pretend she didn't know what an iPhone was). She says things like "does the munchkin need a hah-chair" and "newfangled" and calls everybody "love" really loudly. The trouble is that the accent is really bad and it's not always southern. Sometimes she sounds kind of gritty ghetto and other times some sort of British (when she says "love" she pronounces it "lOv", to the point where I look up to see if Scary Spice has just entered the dining room.

The first time we ate at that restaurant it was not long after we had moved from LA. So I was really confused, because the whole actor-waitress thing would have made perfect sense where we came from. But not in Portland. So I really don't understand all the energy she puts in to this. Plus, I heard her using her natural voice when speaking with a manager once, so that means she knows she's not fooling any of her co-workers. I'd think the whole sham would be embarrassing, but she just keeps it right up. I can only guess she thinks it gets her better tips. I wonder how many diners actually fall for it.